Sunday, March 18, 2007

And heeeeeeeere comes Harrison!

I feel that I have left you, my loyal reader(s) down last week. Posting just once is no way to run a website. So in order to make it up to you I am posting this in simulcast. That’s right not only are you able to read it here at Tampa Wasteland, but if you are one of my original MySpace readers you are able to see it there as well. How exciting.

The reason for the lack of posts has been simple. I’ve had out of town guests. The early part of the week I was visited by my Aunt and Uncle from New York. Other than my parents and my sister they are the only family members that have ever seen my house. On Thursday Link came down for some basketball, gambling and Xbox hockey. It was like my senior year in college all over again! Actually he came down for some kind of job review, but he stayed for all the rest.

Because the wonderful TBA doesn’t have real casinos (Beware – the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino is NOT a casino. It’s a glorified bingo parlor by the fairgrounds) we had to quench our gambling lust at historic Derby Lane. Derby Lane is a greyhound track about 20 minutes from my humble abode. You may have seen it on the big screen. In Oceans 11 (the George Clooney one not the Frank Sinatra one) Billy Ocean recruits Saul Bloom at a dog track – that’s Derby Lane.

After some early morning hockey on the X-box (Caps versus Pens) it’s off to Derby Lane we go. Link is a big fan of poker and I’m a big fan of donating my money to poker rooms so we started in the card room. The bulk of the action in the new and expanded poker room is low stakes $2.00 poker. Since it is low stakes people enjoy playing and raising and re-raising even if they have nothing in their hands. Considering I can only bet $2.00 at a time the money I lose at these tables is extraordinary.

We opt for a single flop tournament. The locals that play there are a little more educated (for the most part) and aren’t so casual with their chips since it’s a $45 fee to play in the tournament. I’ve now played in 4 tournaments and finished fourth, fifth and third. Of course only the top two spots pay out.

My only goal is not be the first out. I accomplished that goal. I was the second eliminated. A couple of bad calls and a pair of 10’s that didn’t hold up against a pair of queens and I was gone. Link was still battling at the same table so I decided to get some fresh air and watch the dogs race.

With $10 left in my pocket I figured I could bet on a few races. What follows in this post are the thoughts I jotted down on the back of my losing tickets between races. I present them as they were written:

Ticket One: $2.00 to win on the 7 in Race Number 9

This ticket is a loser. Of course if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be writing on it. I bet on the 7 to win because it’s St Patty’s Day and the bib (or is it vest?) that the 7 dog wears is a nice Irish green & white. It seemed as good a strategy as any. Alas, he finished fourth. The 4 dog wears green as well maybe I should bet a 4/7 quinella all day in honor of St Patrick.
At least it’s a beautiful day to lose money. Some call it gambling, I don’t. I call it donating. Maybe the next race I’ll find out the name of the dog I’m betting on. That might help.

Ticket Two: $2.00 to place one the 6 in Race Number 11

Another ticket. Another loser. I should have checked the names in that race. Shamrock Bootsy won. Are you fucking kidding me? On St Pat’s day? I’ve got Sol Hugo in this race. I’m all about someone named after the best “Lost” character. He’s a comfortable 7-1 with oops 5-1 with 8 minutes of betting to go.

Of course Shamrock Bootsey was wearing the green & white – damn I should be $14.60 to the good right now. At least I can work on my tan out here, no tan in the poker room. No luck in there either. Maybe I can claim my loses on my taxes next year. That would be sweet.

Ticket Three: $2.00 to place on the 5 in Race Number 12

Ahhh it was not to be with poor Hugo. If this was a game of picking the dog who finished 4th I would be 2 for 3. Although if I do win I would have nothing to write on. How tragic would that be?

Tough choice in this race. Two dogs are the offspring of the first great dog I ever bet on – Dominator. I went with the one on the outside. That should guarantee the one out of Post 4 (wearing green!) should win.

The good news is that there is only one race left after this so I will walk away with money in my pocket. Not a lot of money, but enough to buy a beer – it is St Patty’s day after all!

Ticket Four: $2.00 to place on the 8 in Race Number 13

Dang that was a close one. Oh no it wasn’t. Surprisingly enough the 7 won again. If I had stayed with my original strategy I would be 2 for 4 and betting with the track’s money. I didn’t so I’m not.

I feel good. The bet is In and Deano is singing about gambling on the Ipod. Actually he’s kind of comparing women to race horses – flattering? Who knows? So with the success of the 7 who am I betting on? The 3 of course. I am too smart for my own good. I guess that will wrap up this gambling blog handwritten. It’s the old fashioned kind of blog.

Follow Up

So of course the 7 won in the last race. After lunch and some hoops (Link almost had blacked out when his team, Pitt, blew a 19 point lead and had to go to overtime to beat VCU) we returned to Derby lane for the evening performance. In 5 races I bet on the 7 three times and won money back twice.

The moral of the story is simple. If you find yourself at a greyhound track on St Patrick’s Day please bet on the 7 dog.


Anonymous said...

How did you manage to leave out the 4 million people that decided to go to the horses and block traffic for miles at Tampa Bay Downs.....

Costanza's Brother said...

I tried blocking that waste of an hour out of my life.