So I submit to you the works of "The Garfoose". If you haven't found this on your own yet, I highly recommend you browsing around his website and following his twitter.
Dirk Hayhurst may not have won a game in the major leagues yet (career record 0-2), but he does have quite the devoted following due to his writing and his wit. Only a reliever could adequately explain the origins of baseballs and what they have to do with legendary half-giraffe, half-moose creatures.
His book, The Bullpen Gospels, is due out next month. If it's anything like his other writing it should be immensely enjoyable.
Follow his Twitter for updates on his recent surgery (performed by Dr. Claw) to remove ninjas from his damaged arm.
His website has details and drawing of the legendary Garfoose. Enjoy the whimsy.
2000 Upper Deck PowerDeck Manny Ramirez
17 hours ago