Since the “Trade Vinny” rumors are running rampant as of late I figured I’d take it to the next level (one more than 10. eleven.) Let’s trade everybody on the roster! Time to blow this puppy up! Scorched earth, baby! Why use a scalpel to trim payroll when you can use a chainsaw?
So after meticulous research (more than 30 minutes!) I’ve come up with trading partners for every current member of the Lightning roster. I took the salary cap into consideration and tried to make sure that the Bolts were left with an actual roster. In other words I didn’t trade everyone for draft picks.
This isn’t serious, so please refrain from the outraged posts. Think of this as of an emotional cleansing. If I trade everybody in my mind, I can’t be surprised if they are traded in real life.
Part I will be the defense and goaltending.
Part IIwill be the forwards.
Kurtis Foster – To: Buffalo For: a third round pick and Matt Ellis. Buffalo picks up a big blast from the point for their power play (and a sometimes winger). Tampa gets a draft pick and someone who’s a free agent at the end of the season.
David Hale – To New Jersey. For a 3rd round pick. Hale goes back to the team that drafted him and the Bolts stock another pick.
Victor Hedman – To Vancouver for Mason Raymond and a 2nd round pick. The Canucks lock up a fellow Swede to go with the Sedin twins and Tampa picks up a young (cheap) forward.
Mike Lundin – To Nashville. For Cal O’Reilly and a 4th round pick (package with Mike Smith). Nashville gets a young defenseman and the Bolts shed some more payroll.
Andrej Meszaros – To TJ’s Sports Bar of the New Hampshire Center Ice Adult Hockey League. For: a case of Guinness and platter of wings.
Mattias Ohlund – To Colorado. For Chris Stewart and an unknown prospect. This was a tough one. Finding a team with room for his contract wasn’t easy. Colorado has two veteran unrestricted free agents after the end of the season – Adam Foote and Ruslan Salei. Ohlund would fit in contract wise and provide a veteran presence on the blueline.
Matt Smaby – To Montreal. For a conditional draft pick. He gives the Habs some grittiness on their blue line and they don’t have to surrender too much.
Matt Walker – Part of blockbuster deal that will be announced with the forwards. See that’s foreshadowing- it makes you want to come back for part two!
Antero Nittymaki – To: Philadelphia. For: Brian Boucher. Philly gets a goaltender for their playoff run and shed some cap space for next season. Tampa gets a middle of the road goalie to back up Torkarski next season.
Mike Smith – To: Nashville. For: Cal O’Reilly and a 4th Round pick (package deal with Mike Lundin). The Preds now have a goalie for next year in case Dan Ellis bolts in free agency. The Lightning stock up another pick and perhaps a steal in O’Reilly since Nashville is a little center-heavy at this time.